what no one told me about travelling in my thirties

The other week, while mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across this status from a new friend:

“So this girl just got accepted into med school, and here I am, living in a trailer park in my tent and washing the one pot I own with a soap bar…”

It was a complete congratulatory post to her friend, but in it I read a little self deprecation. Those of us that travel long-term (I have to add that, since people that take off for a month or two don’t seem to have this problem) have willingly given up a lot in order to follow their dream… whether that dream be beach bumming it somewhere or working abroad for a year. As someone on the older end of the working abroad for a year spectrum, I’ll let you in on a little secret: sometimes, I just want to stop moving.

Another secret: I see my Facebook acquaintances meet people, get into relationships, get engaged, married, have children, change careers, buy a house, all that jazz… and sometimes – not often, mind you – I want that too. Then, I look up at where I am currently sitting – a beachside cafe, a bustling city street, a sailboat, a lodge porch overlooking rolling green hills, snow covered mountains with vast stars above me and the pulsing sea ahead of me – and I say, “ha! What was I just thinking?!”

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties is that I would, no – *will and continue to* – have this problem. (Unless you’re lucky enough to have multiple friends that do what you do, or are part of a Girls LOVE Travel Facebook group that takes over your newsfeed with travel-related amazingness.) I crowd-sourced this group to find out what other girls are dealing with.

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties…

…is that even if you don’t feel like settling yet, even if you are completely happy with your life as it is, you will feel inadequate when you see these posts. You will see your friends have multiple children (on purpose)… and realise you’ll never get to be a young mom – by the time you have kids, you’ll be close to 40. You will notice how lovely your friend’s new condo looks with the patterned floor to ceiling curtains and the plants on the windowsill… and realise that you can’t remember the last time you bought a home-related item (a knife that you take with you from hostel to hostel doesn’t count.) You will watch as your friends/brothers/cousins/sisters get promoted, get recognised for doing something fancy with their job, and get married… and realise that you are still the black sheep of the family.

You’ll be okay with this. Or you won’t.

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was… “that my experience [would be] very different to my twenties. My standards are higher and my sustainable energy levels are lower. But it still makes my soul just as happy” {Fiona}

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was…  to “choose your travel partners wisely or go solo.” Additionally, its “totally ok and often more enjoyable to go alone.” {Angel and Desi}

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was…

…its empowering. So empowering.

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was… I would impress people. I can’t count the number of times that someone has told me that my life impresses them. That someone comes to me for advice on travelling. I freaking love it. YES, if I can do this, YOU can do this. That’s what I want to tell every single young woman out there in this world. I’m working at a bar/restaurant right now and a lot of my coworkers are eighteen-twenty one year old women. A lot of them have not been out of New Zealand and some have never left the South Island. My life is completely foreign to them, and they have a billion questions for me.

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was… “that I’d still look and feel like back in my twenties, find the love of my life in a hostel and travel with him ever since, instead of feeling the all-too-familiar pressure to get pregnant “because I’m not twenty anymore.” Wait, I am not…?” {Marta, Vegan Beauty Travels}

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was… I would be “confident to travel on my own anywhere in the world, whereas before I did with less confidence. I’ve learned kindness and smiles go further than anything in this world.” It’s “amazing and liberating and a must do.” {Liz and Dana}

What no one told me about travelling in my thirties was … “I [would] get those who do not understand why I travel alone. I find it more annoying than challenging. I get folks who pity me thinking I am a sad, lonely woman. I get folks who think I am on vacation looking for love. I get wait staff who say, “just you tonight?” Yes, I am enough.” {Christina}

Thoughts? Share in the comments below and you could be featured in part two!

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