In May 2015, my mom and I went to Scotland with my grandma, and while I know she had fun and enjoyed spending time with us, there were times that it was difficult. I had planned the trip to Skye and the Outer Hebrides, and my mom and I both had looked into what sites to see and what was important out there (the Callanish Stone Circle was the biggest one). We tried to really impress on my grandma that this was a trip that would require walking and signed her up at the local gym in order to get her range of motion and mobility a little bit better.
{three generations}
She uses a cane, and she tends to put a lot of her weight on that, but she also leans heavily on someone that walks with her, leading to a slow couple of people. She fell several times, once on the street in Glasgow and once on a path down from a stone circle. The second time, it took a lot of effort to get her back on her feet, mostly because we were all laughing really hard, but also because she had toppled over into a ditch.
I asked my mom to guest post here, because while I have traveled with my grandma twice in the last five years, my mom has done it 4 times, and has a little more insight into how best to travel with an elderly person. And, just so we are clear, we are talking with experience about travelling with an elderly person, but I decided to modify this to really embrace the limited mobility of elderly people and maybe some hearing loss, needs assistance to get around, etc. Some of these tips will be helpful if you have a child in a wheelchair, for example.
I can’t discourage anyone from doing it just because it might be a little harder to maneuver. Mom says it’s like traveling with kids, and to an extent it is, but if your kid gets tired or doesn’t want to walk any further, you can probably pick them up and carry them. Like I said, I’ve traveled with my grandma overseas now twice and I’ve gone up to her house to spend a few days, just us, and yes, I have to assist a little bit: it was me that spoke with the furnace guy and crawling down the trapdoor to the cellar to talk with him about the noises; my mom, dad and uncles chop wood for the fireplace when they go; my cousins check in and help her with her phone/camera/computer; and that’s the nature of it. Traveling with your grandparents to someplace they have always wanted to go, or went when they were young and want to take you, is incredibly rewarding. Listening to my grandma talk about the trips her and my grandpa took take on new meaning when I go to those places myself.
So, yes, it takes some careful planning and a lot of patience, but it’s definitely worth it in the end.
I’ve posted my mom’s full writing below and highlighted the important stuff, but I’ve also added my own notes in ellipses:
“I’ve had the opportunity to travel with my mother, now in her 80s, four times in the past 5 years. She traveled with us when we were little kids, now I am taking her places she has always wanted to see. She has become more limited in the things she can do, and those limitations present new challenges in planning and taking that memorable trip that we will both enjoy. These trips have been real learning experiences, but most importantly, we have both had lots of fun and created memories to treasure. Having said that, there are considerations to traveling with an older person that are not immediately apparent in the excitement of a special trip.
My cardinal rule for travel has always been to never, ever have more luggage to manage than I can manage by myself. That rule became cardinal when I traveled with small children and infants. It’s just as relevant, and maybe more important, when I travel with my mother. When I walked with her, holding her arm to support her, managing bags took on extra importance. Often she could not manage her own carry-on bag, because it unbalanced her, so that was mine, too. I needed to be sure I could consolidate the bags so I could manage it all, while I held her arm. [Ed. note: it’s very true. I had my own bags and my mom was left with my grandma’s suitcase and backpack as well as her own. That left me with the groceries in addition to my own]
{mom literally carrying both her and grandma’s bags.}
Airlines are not the only travel companies that offer extra help to the traveler with limitations. Cruise lines, ferries, hotels and others, all provide handicapped accessible spaces and the extra help those travelers need to have a memorable trip. All you need to do is ask. On ferries in the UK, the people managing the loading of the ferries [on the shore] made sure we were parked near an elevator so Mom could get up to the passenger decks easily.
Changing time zones, especially by six or seven hours, after limited and fitful sleep, is a challenge for any traveler, but may be especially so for an older person. In planning trips with Mom, I have tried to keep our first day at our destination low key, with an early check in and the opportunity to rest. We were fortunate, on our most recent trip, to be able to check into our hotel at 9 am and go take a nap as soon as we arrived. That respite gave us the energy to be able to actually do something in the afternoon. [Ed. note: you generally need to request an early check in when you reserve the room, but hotels are happy to accommodate that request.]
The dynamics of any trip involving an older traveler with limitations are complex. The younger travelers want to do more, go more, see more, but so does the older traveler, and it becomes frustrating for everybody not to be able to do everything. The trick is to find the right combination of activities and sightseeing that will engage and fulfill everybody, without leaving anybody out. That doesn’t always mean everybody does the same thing. In the Outer Hebrides, we stopped at the Dun Carloway Broch. Two of us walked up to the broch, on a narrow uneven trail, while Mom visited with the host of the visitor’s center, a lovely lady who was carding wool to spin into yarn, to be sold in the shop. The host was happy to have an interested audience for her craft and Mom enjoyed the conversation and the company. In Ireland, Mom rode a shuttle bus, while we walked a mile or so to the main attraction.
{walking up to a stone circle}
{stopping along the road to take photos on barra}
Before you travel:
At the time you make your reservations, let the airlines and other travel companies know that you are traveling with someone of limited mobility. The airlines offer wheelchair service and other intra-airport shuttles to take travelers from one far-flung gate to another, and they will meet you right at the gate. You should also consider that it may take extra time to get from one gate to another, and not book flights that are too close in time.
The same consideration applies when you reserve hotels or B&Bs. If you let your host know ahead of time that you have a traveler with special needs, they are most helpful in making sure that you have a ground floor room, en-suite accommodations, and anything else you both need to your stay more pleasant. If your special-needs traveler needs to share a room with you, let your host know that. [Ed. note: more on sharing a room below, but I just want to say that it may be a good idea if your travel companion gets disoriented in the middle of the night, or if you are concerned that they may need assistance at any time.]
Your elderly traveler may have medications and other needs that may not be easy to meet if you are abroad. You can help them make sure they have enough medicines and other supplies to last the whole trip. Most major cities will have pharmacies and similar stores, but it may not be possible to fill prescriptions out of the country, and the prices may not be what you would expect. [Ed. note: small towns also may not have what you are looking for, or the shops may have odd hours and are closed when you need them. It’s always best to plan ahead and bring it.]
When you are traveling:
Our experience has been that the most stressful times are arrival at our destination, when everybody is jet-lagged and tired. Even with a nap—mentioned above—the first night in a strange place can be disorienting. Even if you choose not to share a room most of the time, that first night might be a good time to share so you can make sure your older traveler is okay if they wake up in the middle of the night.
We have found that it is very helpful to plan multiple stops during the day, as we are traveling, to rest, have a snack and most importantly, use a restroom. Our Scotland travel consultant was terrific at identifying small out-of-the-way art cafes, galleries, and shops that were interesting, restful, and had a bathroom—the sorts of places with tiny signs along the road that don’t do their attractions justice, and we might have completely missed had we not been given a heads-up. (It’s not a lot different than traveling with little kids and knowing every bathroom on the Hauptstrasse but much more sophisticated!)
Another cardinal rule is to always have snacks and drinks while we are traveling. A quick stop at a grocery store for bottled water, crackers, small fruit packages, cheese, and the like, gives you options if you do not eat lunch precisely on schedule, or somebody gets hungry along the way. A properly equipped stash doubles as dinner on the ferry or in the B&B if you can’t or don’t want to go out.
Many (most?) B&Bs are happy to let you enjoy a carry-in dinner in one of their common spaces, and will gladly supply plates, silverware and wine glasses so you can enjoy a real meal. Some of our most memorable meals, and after dinner glasses of wine, have been at B&Bs in remote places, overlooking the water at sunset. Such an occasion is a relaxing and pleasant end to a busy day.
The end of your trip:
Planning for the end of your trip is especially important if the older traveler has a different destination than his or her traveling companions. As your traveler makes his or her plans to come home, get contact information for anyone who will be meeting them on the other end, just in case there are delays or cancellations. The last thing you want is to be getting on a plane and leaving your older traveler delayed or stuck in a strange airport, with the next flight the next morning. This almost happened to us, but the airline gate agents—at my gate–were terrific in checking up to give me the assurance that Mom had taken off. I had already talked with the friend picking her up so he knew of the delays, and was in contact with her and the airline.“
Have you ever traveled with someone with mobility limitations or elderly? Do you have any additional advice? I’m happy to talk about it! Get in touch!
Like this post? Pin it!
